Lobsters! Electricity!

Speaking of lobsters, there's been an ongoing debate about whether or not they feel pain when you boil them alive. In 2005, Norway claimed that no, they didn't. In 2007, Ireland claimed that yes, they do.

Either way I don't really care because they are delicious. But if you feel uncomfortable boiling something alive, you can always kill it beforehand. With the.... CrustaStun- the at-home electric chair for lobsters.

Outdoor Dining

I can't tell if this is the worst idea ever, or just unbelievably bad. Alright. It is the worst. Dinner on an amusement park ride, strapped into an unattractive seat? Attached to a piece of construction equipment? And forget wearing a dress.

The only things that would make this a good idea: The table is suspended smack-dab in the center of Rome. It is free despite almost every dish containing lobster, and dinner is prepared and served by a very flirtatious, half-dressed Rocco DiSpirito.

Zebra Cakes

I've always had a soft spot for Zebra cakes, those chemical-riddled bits of sugar and vegetable shortening made by Little Debbie. But there is a much more grown-up cake that resembles everyone's favorite jungle horse creature, zebra cake.First you mix up the vanilla batter, turn half into chocolate with the addition of some cocoa, then painstakingly pour the batter 3 Tablespoons at a time, alternating colors into a cake pan to create the stripes.

Vegetable Deceit!

Did you know that the Jerusalem artichoke is neither an artichoke, nor does it have anything at all to do with Jerusalem? It is a tuber that grows from a sunflower, and tastes somewhere between a potato and a (SURPRISE!) artichoke.Let's get some at Whole Foods and make them into soup! Shallots, fresh sage, garlic, celery, cream, potato. Served cold and topped with fried leeks and bacon.

Coffee Table Books!

New apartment calls for, at the very least, a new coffee table book. So it's time to replace the old, 'People You Know, Horses They Love" with something else. My current top options:

1.) TARTAN: Romancing the Plaid- Fashion, history, delicious plaids.
2.) Bernd Munsteiner: Reflections in Stone- No one else can facet gemstones like this. From creating new, unique cuts for small stones to carving entire pieces of rock, everything in here is breathtaking.
3.) The Complete Keller: The French Laundry Cookbook and Bouchon- My latest chef obsession with both cookbooks chock-full of shiny obscene drool-worthy photographs.

Tuna Tartare

Let me tell you one of my fantasies- to eat an entire tuna, much like a bear eats salmon. Only the fish has no scales or bones or guts and is pretty much 100% sushi-grade tuna. So really, just a big plate of tuna.

Sushi is too much work. Cooking rice might warm up the house. But how about some Spicy Tuna Tartare? 1 tablespoon mayo, 1 teaspoon soy sauce, 1/2 teaspoon hot chili sauce mixed together. Add chopped chives and about a cup of finely diced tuna.

Cupacupacupacake

How annoyingly adorable are these laser-cut cupcake wrappers from Paper Orchid Stationary?

Teapots AND dinosaurs? Plus, if you are not so good at cupcakes these will make yours look 100% good with 0% effort.